Our standards of beauty, ideas about difference, even notions of what is “normal” are shaped to a large extent by culture—the attitudes, values, and beliefs of a society. Where do those attitudes, values, and beliefs come from, and how were they molded? And what role do experts and people in positions of authority play in determining societal standards around beauty and what is considered “normal?”
In viewing "eye of the beholder", you told me who in Janet Tyler's society determines what is normal. Your homework blog prompt is:
So, how did YOU or how do YOU learn HOW a difference matters?
This should be a personal, reflective response.
Please post your answer in the "comments" section below. You should have a login name by now that I can recognize. Please complete this prompt by class on Monday.
Have a GREAT weekend!
Differences are everywhere. Our whole idea of our being, of our individualism is based on differences, our language and our thoughts, as well as our sciences are just able to exist because of our understanding of dualism, differences and individualism. The problems we face because of these facts are brutal though. WE want everybody to be just like everybody else. why? this might be like that because of the evolution, that we want dna with is like ours, or because of our collective understanding of beauty, the golden ratio, the symmetry and astonishing things like that. But this is not the problem. the problem is, that we do not know how to treat these differences right, how to accept and even honor those things that make our world just more diverse and/or interesting.
ReplyDeleteIn our society we play a game with these differences. They are the things that divide us and make us more individual or special. and this is very contradictory: on one hand the youth wants to be like everybody else, good in school, nice clothing style, many friends. but at the same time we want to grasp the idea of being different, of making us special through controversial behaviors or exciting clothing. As far as it is at least a little bit like everyone else, we want to be different to be SOMEBODY. but if there is someone who is completely different, this can be seen in a cultural, physical or racist way, we often do not want this someone to be in our group of people. Either because we are afraid of them or because we do not think that this one belongs to us.
I think that differences matter all the time and everywhere, in school, your job, even in the game called love.. Often as a disadvantage.
So, how did i learn that a difference matters?
In numerous cases in my life i realized what it means to be different. in my old school, in austria, there was a kid called philip who obviously had a problem with sticking to the society. During classes he started to sing out loud, he went to girls and insulted them in a poor way, all in all i think it would be fair to say he was a sociopath. He was different, he could not act like us, i cant say if i believe if he wanted to be like that, but he was. And what did we do? we excluded him. he hardly had any friends, and he left school after one year with us (he changed his school 12 times during his school education, it wasn't just our fault). but what could we have done? you have to know, that i am usually one of those guys who is happy to meet new people, to talk about new perspectives and ideas and therefore i was one of the first who talked to him. but me and everybody else was shocked by his personality. what should we have done? we excluded him, because he couldn't fit in our group, in our classes. and i still do not know what could i have done differently to help him, but that is just the way it was.
Another thing that might be interesting is my own move to America. since i don't see myself as a freak, sociopath or unable to live a social life i did not really have problems to find friends around here. actually, it was pretty easy because people thought that it is interesting that i am form a different country, that i am not like them. that refers to the idea of trying to be different to get attention. so, i can say i was not excluded or even seen as something strange in this american society. but still i got the feeling that difference matters. in austria completely everything is somehow different, the school education, the people, the way how to have a good time, even dating is different in austria. and therefore, i still have sometimes a hard time to understand and like the way how it is in America on one hand because i liked the old way, and on the other hand because i think that these new ideas are either ridiculous or don't fit to my old basics of presenting myself. If i was born here this would be normal and easy for me, because of my difference i have to face some hard days sometimes, because i cannot, or do not want to go along with these "normal" things.
difference doesnt just "matter" it decides who u are, what u want to be or present. Of course, there are levels of difference, and i might be less different than other immigrants because i speak english.. more or less, hehe,..
as a conclusion i would say that as far as the difference isnt too extreme it is necessary to define myself, to be an individualist. But if the difference is starkly, i would get excluded or would be unable to live in this society.
something that made me think, in different ways was when i heard the intro (and outro) of a bloc party song i really like; the frontman sings:
"there was a sense of disappointment, as we left the mall.
all the young people looked the same."
Being different makes people exclude people, being all the same, is boring, or even dangerous (see fascism), so what do we want to be?
Benni M, A-Block
I think most people, including myself, have been influenced in some way by the media when deciding how a difference matters. In the media, they are showing you what our society thinks is “normal” which in most cases are stick skinny, emaciated looking, models with beautiful (or what we perceive as beautiful) shiny hair and “flawless” unmarked skin. If you look around at the check out at the supermarket, you are bombarded by images of these models on magazine covers, and if you aren’t seeing them, it’s a cover advertising a miracle diet or workout, or an “inspirational” story about how some celebrity, who really wasn’t overweight, got down to a size 2. Even earlier today I turned on my TV and was flipping channels and I found one of those countdown shows, this one was called “101 sexiest celebrity bodies”. I watched this for a little while and the only message I got from it was that to be “sexy,” if you are a girl, you have to be really skinny, have big boobs, and a nice butt, and for the guys the only thing they seemed to talk about was their abs and how muscular they were. The celebrities were “normal” and the list implied that if you looked different then these celebrities that you weren’t beautiful or “sexy”. From this TV show, it is easy to see that differences in appearance matter to people in some way or another.
ReplyDeleteToday, I also saw the complete opposite of the view that differences in appearance are a bad thing.
On the usa network they have been showing advertisements for their new campaign called characters unite, which asks you to take a pledge to promote acceptance and “stand against prejudice, intolerance, and hate”. In the advertisement for this pledge on tv, they said “we believe life is richer when we see past our differences and see each other for the characters that we are” This campaign is trying to teach people to see past differences of race, religion, and gender, and instead embrace the differences that make everyone unique, that make you a “character”. In this campaign the differences that matter are the ones that make every person an individual.
I agree with the ideas presented in this campaign about differences. I believe that the differences that truly matter and are important are the ones that make you an individual, and that people need to be more tolerant and accepting of the differences that shouldn’t matter such as differences in race, religion, ethnicity…the list goes on. I am the co-president of lhs’s harry potter alliance chapter/harry potter club. I have been listening to the ideas of the Harry Potter Alliance since I found out about the organization almost two years ago and these ideas are similar to the new campaign by the usa network. One of the HPA’s main goals is to try to get everyone to break out of the “Muggle Mindset” which is the mindset that everyone needs to be “perfectly normal, thank you very much” (Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone). This memorable quote from the first harry potter book is in reference to the Dursleys, who do everything possible to avoid things that are different or abnormal. They are terrified of wizards because wizards are different from them and they don’t understand them. In the Harry Potter books you constantly see people being discriminated against. Werewolves and half-giants are feared and shunned for their differences, muggle borns and half bloods are thought of as inferior by the majority of the “pure blood” wizards. Muggle borns are even forced to register themselves and are persecuted by the government in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Even though there is discrimination all throughout this world, like there is in the real world, there are also those that fight against it and that want people to be more accepting and tolerant of each other, which is one of the major themes of the books.
While my views on difference have been influenced somewhat by things like magazines and society’s views on beauty (I think it would be very hard to find someone who wasn’t influenced even a little bit by it), the Harry Potter books and the HPA have probably taught me the most about how difference matters. From them I have learned, like I was saying earlier, that the differences that make you unique, define who you are as a person, and influence your personality, are the differences that are really important. Differences in race, religion, appearance, or anything else like that are not the differences that people should focus on and they are the differences that I try not to focus on.
HPA=the harry potter alliance (thehpalliance.org)
USA network characters unite web site (http://charactersunite.com/)
Jenny, D block
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDifferences among everyone are important because they distinguish one person from another, and help us create a strong sense of individuality. Without our differences, the world would be a very dull place. Also, through our differences, we can inspire others to embrace their own differences and show that it's not a bad thing to be different in the first place. In terms of what we should do with our differences, they can help us find others who share the same differences with us (such as religion, or ethnicity) and form new friendships that are based upon this mutual understanding of each other. At the same time, if we befriend people completely different from us, this can also be beneficial, because we then get to see someone else's perspectives and viewpoints. I believe that the most important differences are out life choices in life, and what we individually think sets up apart from everyone else.
ReplyDeleteZora Haque, A Block
It really depends on what kind of a difference it is... If it's just someone's race of gender or how they dress, then that shouldn't be any basis to treat them differently on. Differences in personalities or views could be a reasonable excuse to not be friends with the person, but not treat them badly.
ReplyDeleteIn extreme cases of different views, like where a person is threatening others with their beliefs, then it's okay to act out against them. (but probably only if that person actually plans to hurt someone, and not just ay they hate people.)
I try to judge people based on only what I know for sure about them, and treat evenyone equally by ignoring them all, unless they go out of their way to interact with me.
(I'm a big fan of Twilight Zone, by the way, and I really liked having that shown in class. Also... There is (or was) a show on the game show network that could be useful in class. In it, judges were shown a bunch of people and decided, based on prejudices and an increasing number of facts, who they would eliminate each round. Some of the episodes were pretty shocking how looks could be so decieving.The name of it was "Without Prejudice?")
What is normal is usually (if not always) created by the majority. However, difference is something that is subjective. There is no definite "good" or "bad" to it. Sometimes, differences can cause racism, hatred, discrimination, leaving the victim feel rejected, misunderstood, and/or hated by society.
ReplyDeleteUnlike Lexington, from where I came from, figure skaters were really rare. There were not any rinks close by (I had to drive more than half an hour to find a rink) and the sport itself was expensive. Therefore, many people misunderstand what kind of training I had to go through (some believed it was a girly sport) and it has always bothered me, but I could not defend myself since I was the only skater in my school. The ratio was way too off balance to defend. Meanwhile, there are many skaters here in Lexington, therefore there are many skaters who can defend their sport.
However, differences can be positive. It creates diversity and many interesting aspects of people. Unlike here in Lexington, many people (and all in my grade) knew that I was the "skater girl" and some who weren't so narrow minded asked me about skating! Without the differences, our school would only consists of students who only plays basketball or baseball (or other "common" sports). And without our differences, life and the world would be pretty boring and dull.
I learned difference through natural experience. I gradually began to percieve the variations in individuals and unconciously note them. Society engrains the perception of difference into us until it is a natural reponse to differentiate others into certain groupings. This is not a negative behavior on paper, but when taken to extremes it has proved harmful. I was fully exposed to the negative interpretation of differences through my hockey team. The locker room was filled with derisive talk and close-minded views. A lot of it was joking, but there was some reality of how some people actually think. I saw the stupidity in sweeping generalizations and ostracism.
ReplyDeleteI learned how difference matters gradually, throughout the past few years of my life. Due to my parents' jobs, I have been forced to move many times in my life. My fondest memory is when I lived in California, where my school had an extremely diverse student body. I fit in very well there, because there were many minorities and I didn't stand out much. However, when I moved to Ohio, I suddenly realized I stood out immensely among the rest of my peers; all of whom were Caucasian or African American. I was practically the only Asian in my school, and I had to realize how different I was from everyone else. I had different hobbies, different likes and dislikes, and different priorities.
ReplyDeleteAt that time, I was pressured by these differences. Now, I don't think it matters at all. Difference is what makes people interesting; if everyone in the world were the same, how boring would that be? It's because each and every one of us are different that makes it worth interacting with others.
As people have pointed out so far, differences can be superficial, such as race, gender, or clothing, or they can be differences in beliefs and perspectives, which give us individuality. I agree that with the more superficial differences, it is the majority that usually decides what is “normal,” and so it is only in a group of people that such a differences matter. To pick up with the Harry Potter analogy, the Dursleys are always afraid that their neighbors will find out that they are associated with “weirdos,” and that is one of the main reasons that they don't like Harry. Pressure from society, real or perceived, makes the Dursleys isolate and mistreat Harry. Similarly, I learn which differences matter based on which group I identify with and am a part of. In Lexington High, some people care more about grades, some about sports, etc., and you have to adapt to fit the group you are in if you want to be one of “them.”
ReplyDeleteFor a person who does not fit into the group, being different is not always a bad thing. For example, when I was in third grade, I visited China for a month and went to a school there. I was very different from the other kids there (caucasian, brown haired, brown eyed, and with accented Chinese), but that ended up working in my advantage. Maybe because we were all children, they were more accepting of differences, but my strangeness only made me more friends. The kids there wanted to learn more about me, and so I talked to and became friends with more people than I would have if they had not approached me. I think that as we get older, we become more aware that differences might matter to other people, and that maybe asking them questions would make them feel like an oddity, and be rude, so we try to ignore the difference.
However, I don't think that how we actually perceive the difference – as something interesting and new – changes. The kids in China didn't know it was rude to point and ask questions, and because they didn't ignore my difference, they made me feel more welcome. Instead of ignoring a difference, or trying to be polite about it, we should recognize that it's there and allow ourselves to be curious, because then the “different” person knows that we accept their differences. If we're silent and avoid it, it seems more like we dislike it than if we go right out to meet it.
I think we all learn how a difference matters through experience and from people who influence us. With our friends, we learn how to accomplish tasks as we get older, and in turn learn how to make a difference through our expleriences. Last year in band, nobody stepped up to design and sell T-shirts as spirit, so I got together with a friend and figured out how to effectively sell the T-shirts. It was a great learning experience for both of us, getting a glimpse into how to runa business and we influenced other people's lives by making the band have more spirit of togetherness. My parents have instilled storng values of helping people who are less fortunate than us. In Judaism, before a person has his/her Bar/Bat Mitzvah, he/she does does a "good deed" project. For mine, I set up a canned food drive and donated over 100 cans to a homeless shelter. Our teachers also have a big influence on us. They teach us about people who have made a difference. I have taken that knowledge and applied it to my life to help make the lives of others around me better. Differnecs definitely make us better people when we can learn to accept them. At the end of 6th grade, my history teacher got married and invited her student to the wedding ceremony. Having never been ot a church before, I went with a group of my firends. It was very interesting for me to see how a different religion holds ceremonies and through that experience I learned not to judge people for their being differences. I now will like people for who they are on the inside rather than on their differences.
ReplyDeleteDifferences are everywhere in the world. As I grow up in life I encouter things and people that are different from who I am. I learned that I different matters from the influences of seeing, watching, and discussing differences in the world. I see differences everyday and I do not like them because they are not my personal preference but I do expect them. I also see and watch differences in the media but the media doesn't have a big impact on how I learn how a difference matters. I do not listen to the media because I feel that you should think for yourself and not listen to what one side of society thinks is "normal" because that can lead you down a wrong path. I also discuss differences because by discussing I get to hear from different points of views and you get to open your mind and think more. To me one difference doesn't matter to the next. Differences make a person unique. I feel like you should except a person for who they are because you cannot change someone however you can help them change if they want to change for themselves. Although there are some differences that you will not like about a person but you have to remember that is who the person is.
ReplyDelete-CANDiCE A.
I think that all differences matter. Even differences based on race, religion and gender matter (even if maybe they shouldn’t). It is human nature to judge people who are ‘different’ than you…but it is also human nature to band together with people who are the ‘same’ as you.
ReplyDeleteOn the subject of race, I think that things like skin color definitely should NOT matter, but they do. That’s why when you walk into the cafeteria at school, you see black students gathered together in one corner, Asian students gathered together in another corner, etc. and a sea of white all around them. When people who look alike band together, they create their own mini-society/culture. I think that race in terms of culture certainly does matter, but I think that different cultures in a place like the US where there are so many different people with do many different backgrounds often develop because people band together with those who look like them…
Same thing goes for religion…people who were brought up in a certain religion view the world in a certain way. Some people may be religious for the rest of their lives, some people may go through the motions of religion without thinking about it, and some people may completely rebel against religion and stay as far away from it as possible. The point is, the way we are brought up, specifically in terms of religion, is one of the factors that defines who we are and how we think. Again, these people will band together and create their own society in a place like the US.
On the subject of gender, we know for a fact that there are physical differences between the brains of males and female – of course they are going to act differently and think differently!
Okay, so maybe all differences matter, even race, religion and gender, and the effect of differences is that similar people will band together and create their own subculture. So then, ‘what should we do with a difference’? I think that it is human nature to judge people based on their ‘differences’, and that will never go away. But, I think that the trick is to be aware what you are basing your assumptions on, and be willing to change your judgment of that person when you gather new information. I know that whenever I see someone who looks as if they are Muslim at the airport, the first thought that crosses my mind is “I hope they’re not on our plane.” This thought is followed immediately with “you’re being ridiculous Alex.” Even so, the unease never goes away. However, I think (at least I hope), that because I am aware of why I’m uneasy, the unease would go away if I were to get to know that person better. I think that one of the worst things that you can do is to claim that you never judge a person by their differences, because subconsciously you do, and not admitting that to yourself won’t solve anything.
I learned throughout childhood and adolescence that differences matter. In elementary school we learned about our heritage and who we were, in doing that we learned that nobody has the exact same heritage/background. I learned to appreciate differences because they meant learning more about certain people every day. As my education continued I realized that if everyone was the exact same, we would have nothing to learn about.
ReplyDeleteAs we grow up we begin to notice more and more differences. Sadly enough we judge people on their differences everyday. It is not always in a negative way that we judge them, but we always find something that sets us apart from them. Accepting differences becomes slightly more difficult. Finding a way to see through the differences and accept the person for who they are is sometimes an extremely difficult task. Which is why many people end up avoiding people who are different than they are. This is upsetting because it means that you are not giving people a chance in any way, you are allowing your differences to create a barrier.
Before we are even old enough to go to school we're taught the stereotypes of our society by the media, even our parents. We're told that jocks are dumb and that cheerleaders are the pretty ones and people who aren't 'popular' and don't go to parties ever weekend, are losers and therefore- nobodies. I would love to say that I don't ever think of those stereotypes when I walk around school, but I can't. I've seen those stereotypes so many times in my life-from movies to books- that they're ground into my subconscious. While I try my hardest not judge someone based on what they do or how they look, I can't help but sometimes have those types of thoughts in the back of my mind when I first meet someone.
ReplyDelete"Difference" is a word that will always be a part of our society because no one will or can, be completely alike. Like other people have said, it's in our blood as humans to judge people based on how they are different then us. And the media uses that fact to pit groups of people against one another because of how they look or act. It shouldn't matter how you're different. Whether you're black or white, boy or girl- what matters is how you deal with those differences.
I can't pinpoint exactly how i learned which differences matter and which don't. Deciding upon the impact of any particular difference has a lot to do with the situation or context that one is dealing with. As opposed to other places, Lexington High is pretty accepting around racial, religious, ethnic, and sexual orientation issues, so here, there isn't a huge focus on race, religion, etc. It's generally accepted that everyone is equal in such respects, and so those differences are not ones that necessarily "matter". However, other issues, such as political affiliation, take on more weight in Lexington than one would find in other parts of the country. Lexington is almost completely democratic/left wing, and I wouldn't be surprised if a difference in political opinion was a leading factor in the alienation of some people.
ReplyDeleteEach situation carries its own factors of importance, therefore there are no differences which universally "matter". People learn which factors are emphasized as they assess and adapt to an environment. It is a continually changing process, which I, and I'm sure others, are always re-evaluating on a subconcious level.
In every aspect of our lives there are differences between people that are incorporated with how situations are handled. We subconsciously make these differences and assumptions, even if we do not mean to. I believe that today there is much more acceptance of peoples' differences than there has been in the past, but I do believe that recognizing these differences and acting based on our presumptions is part of human nature. We are designed to notice the world and the people around us. From the very beginning, people that are unusual or have something unique about them have always been singled out from the "norm". These judgments can either have a negative or positive outcome in the end, but are judgments nevertheless.
ReplyDeleteThe media especially helps to encourage the awareness of differences in the world. Most of the time it is in a negative light and people who aren't like everyone else are subjected to prejudices that are set by people who want everyone to be "normal". Even though there is a certain idea of what "normal" is, there is no definition in the dictionary that tells one exactly who to be, what to look like, and how to act. Therefore, there truly is no normal, just what people expect others to be. Magazines, television, and music all portray the importance of looking healthy and beautiful. The fact of the matter is that not everyone is capable of looking like the people they see in these media outlets, and therefore think poorly of themselves.
As far as what differences matter, I believe that it really depends on the situation. We learn from our experiences that judgments of other people change over time. Sometime being different can be a good thing and work to someone's advantage, rather than tear them down. People should make decisions not based on who someone is, but rather what they bring to the table.
I learned from an early age that being my own person matters. Whether it be a matter of skin color, to the language you speak, or to what religion you belong to everyone is different and deserves to be. To me, people who tease and hurt someone else just because they are different than you, makes me sad. That someone would ever feel bad about being different is ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteBeing a descendant from two Holocaust survivors, it taught me that under no circumstances is it acceptable to make assumptions based on a physical or emotional qualities. I think that people learn about differences through all types of media, being photos, books or even television. I think that also as a child being taught and shown that there is not just one way to look is important. I learned theses differences by going to an international school for 9 years. I am very grateful now as a teen that I am able to look at someone who may be worlds apart from me culturally but still regard them as my equal.
To me, a difference is something that surrounds you throughout life. I don't remember exactly when I was aware that a difference matters, but I'm pretty sure it was as a younger child. Even the slightest disagreements or personal beliefs result in differences. Differences are everywhere in life, I have long hair and my sister has short hair. There is not one moment that can be distinguished as a definition of a difference. Little things in life, such as colors and favorite things are differences. Racism, sexism and war is all also based on differences. I discovered the more serious impacts that a difference has when I first learned about the history of our country. Living in a world today, there aren't as many life-threatening differences because discrimination has decreased. However, there are still people who's opinions will not change towards others with any kind of severe difference, and I don't believe these people will ever disappear.
ReplyDeleteThroughout my life, my views on differences have changed quite a bit. I've learned that most differences shouldn't influence what I think of someone and how I treat them. Just because somebody isn't the same as you, doesn't mean that you can't get to know them and associate yourself with them. I began learning this at an early age, when I attended a Quaker school for two years. At Cambridge Friends School, we learned typical academics, as well as accepting others despite their differences. Some of my classmates had homosexual parents. At first, I wasn't sure what to do with the difference. I wasn't sure if I should associate myself with those families. When the school celebrated National Coming Out Day, I realized that whether couples are homosexual or heterosexual shouldn't matter to society. I befriended many of my classmates, including some who had gay or lesbian parents. Even though a child's parents were different than mine, I knew that they were still a kid like me with a family who loved them. Today, I'm grateful for my experiences at CFS because they've influenced me to be accepting of differences.
ReplyDeleteI don't think there was any one instance that made me learn what a difference is. No two people in the world are exactly the same, so differences are inevitable. I think that the more exposure to differences that a person has, the more comfortable they become with that difference, and the more they begin to accept it. I think that there is something rooted in all people that causes a hesitation or a questioning towards another persons difference. I have always been told, and I believe that if every person in the world was exactly the same and there were no differences that life would be totally boring. Because of that, I think that you should learn to love your differences because they are what make you unique, and your differences are what will make you stand out from other people.
ReplyDeleteI remember a kindergarten assignment where everyone was tasked with putting together a montage of what makes them unique. Their cultural background, their family, and their differences so to speak. I remember thinking that everyone’s montage was really cool, everyone, even the people I didn’t really get along with. I couldn’t really understand how people could isolate themselves from other people based on their differences, because I didn’t really see any. I knew what racism was but it seemed such an alien idea I couldn’t understand the motivation behind it. Eventually I began to realize that subtle factors were influencing people’s judgment of other people. I didn’t call it racism or sexism, because those were big words and at the time seemed incongruous, but I now realize that in a way, it was. It doesn’t have to be something as big as saying a certain race or gender is inferior, but can be as simple as letting daily interactions with people become influenced by stereotypes or broad generalizations that we hear so often that we forget that they aren’t true. Everyday we draw a line between us and them, based on their differences. We often speak to people differently based on their race, gender, and sexuality even if we don’t believe they are inferior. These assumed differences between people are seared into our collective conscience from all directions, and it will take a cultural breakthrough to finally overcome this.
ReplyDeleteQ:How did/do YOU learn HOW a difference matters?
ReplyDeleteA:I feel that my answer to this question hinges on my... unique upbringing, and requires a crash course about my life before I moved to Lexington 3 years ago. I lived my first 13 years growing up and going to public school in Monson, MA, a small town in Western Massachusettes on the border of Connecticut, population ~8000. Furthermore my hometown is maybe twice the land area of Lexington MA, with only a fraction of the population, and unlike Metro-Boston the community is of almost entirely Caucasian descent. I myself grew up in privacy at home in the middle of the woods in a wildlife sancturary. In addition to the seclusion I was afforded in my early years, I didn't go to Kindergarten, so I first entered an actual school environment at the age of six. To deepen the meaning of this point, the only regular contact I can say I had with kids my age during my early development was with the kids at a childrens' group we went to often.
So returning to the question asked: I feel that these first years define for individuals what a difference is, how it can matter, and how their views on differences will develop.
In my case, because of the isolation I lived in while my first views about differences were still forming, I saw the world differently than my eventual peers did. I saw the world in an almost "colorblind" way.
The argument could be made that I DIDN'T learn how a difference mattered.
But more accurately, I prefer to say that I NEVER learned that differences were the SAME as problems. I credit this viewpoint to how my parents choose to raise me. I fondly spent my days watching PBS, particularly shows like Sesame Street with Elmo, Big Bird, and Oscar the Grouch (on the topic of differences, we're refering to a short, red fuzzy guy, a huge yellow bird with orange and pink striped feet, and a hairy green monster who lives in a trash can with a pet inch-worm, along with the supporting band of additional puppet characters and the multi-cultural cast of adults and kids on the show). Doubled with such exposure to this small bit of mass media that embraces our differences, I was wholly sheltered away from the "other side" of mass media, the side that rarely embraces our differences. This included things like cable/satilite TV (with channels like MTV, and shows and movies that would infringe upon my utopia), video games (which often exploit differences via violence), popular magazines (tabloids and gossip, loaded with animosity towards many, many individuals because society thinks that they're different and can be/should be picked on), ect.
It's my utopian development that's still directing how I perceive our differences today. And it's the deep-rooted early development of all of our peers that is still directing their views about differences too. And by refering back to all of our past experiences with differences, we, consciously or not, lay the groundwork for how we view persisting differences today, and new differences in our future.
Especially in America, differences shape society. The original differences in the shaping of any culture are usually defined by new developments that deviate from the original founders of the culture. In the case of America, new immigrants were considered different because they did not come from the same culture as the first immigrants – white Christians. What is considered “normal” usually comes from how the majority feels about something, or how an issue has been treated for a long time.
ReplyDeleteDifferences can be very beneficial for a society. They can promote understanding of other places and cultures of the world, and they can enhance one’s own culture. By rejecting differences, people isolate themselves, and that often breeds resentment on both sides.
However, not all “differences” are worth bringing into the main culture, and not all other cultures are worth emulating. If there is a culture that threatens others’ beliefs or promotes violence, then we have a responsibility not to accept that aspect of culture, and to identify the problems in it to hopefully improve it.
I've learned how a difference matters just by looking around me. There are differences everywhere, these differences stand out to us, because in our society most people have the innate desire to be "normal". "Normal" however might have a different meaning to me as it does to you. The differences I observe have to do with religion, race, appearance, political opinion, hobbies, likes, dislikes etc. Some of these differences are more visual, where you don't even need to talk to the person to notice them, for example the color of your hair, and some of them are differences that can only be learned by talking to the person and listening to their values and views. These differences come up a lot in class, they come up in discussions, and they also come up just by having common conversation with someone. The problem with these differences is that we don't treat them in a positive way most of the time. People should be interested in learning about a difference, they should be happy to become a part of a different culture, and be interested in leaving their own culture, not forever but just to learn about a different way of life. When we become a part of a certain culture, sometimes there are rules, and sometimes those rules forbid us to change and to become part of another culture. This can cause violence, it can hurt people, and cause people to veer away from other cultures, never growing out of their own group, society, or click even. We should learn how to look at a difference in a positive way, become interested in other peoples values, and enjoy learning about them.
ReplyDeleteI cannot remember a specific instance where I learned how differences matter. But, looking back, I can see that the times where I learned most about differences were when those affected by discrimination spoke. Hearing someone whose proximity to the issue of "difference" is so close talk about how their differences affect their lives is one of the best ways to become aware of differences. Also, just by paying attention to how my own differences, no matter how small, affect me, makes empathy much easier. As humans, we make judgments on everyone and everything we see. We process these differences and choose whether or not to accept them. And perhaps a realization that is equally as important, is seeing that our culture has become what it is today because of differences; differences make up our world and without them our society wouldn't be where it is today.
ReplyDeleteDifferences in my opinion is what makes the world a more interesting place. The way I look at it is that everyone has their own story to tell, and although many of those stories may be similar they are very the same. Without differences there would be no variety to those stories, and that would be that interesting or fun to listen to, would it?
ReplyDeleteEverything that happens in ones life, their culture, ethnicity religion, personal beliefs, they people one hangs out with, the shows they watch, books that they read, and political leaders all help mold a person into what he or she is. An few examples of this would be The Princess diaries series by Meg Cabot. I remember throughout most of the series the main character (Mia) always complained that she was a 'freak' because of her appearance and how she could never look 'perfect' like the so called 'popular' girls, and that her high school life was horrible because she wasn't 'popular.' I know there are people out there who think like this due to all the media showing this 'flawless' stars that everyone is suppose to idolize and want to be like. I'm pretty sure every culture and nationality has a 'perfect' athlete, actor, singer, ect that they all want to be like, and that if they don't follow the 'guidelines' (like the American stereotype of being 'beautiful, with the perfect hair, perfect body, ect) then they are 'different.' They're the 'freaks' and 'outcasts.'
People seem to forget what almost all of us are taught in kindergarten and preschool. That everyone is unique and special in our own way. The fact that we're all different is what makes the world a cool place. All the variety that sets us apart from the crowd and lets us distinguish who we are as a person.
My parents and my teachers are the ones who taught me what about differences. They never viewed it as anything bad, but they still taught me about them. They viewed it in a positive way because we live in such a diverse community that differences are important things to recognize. Also in the society we live in today we learn differences from the media. The media gives us our expectations of what is beautiful and what is not. They also make a distinction of race in portraying actors and other roll models of different color. They do not degrade the differences but they certainly make a not of it. In the world we live in today it is impossible not to notice differences.
ReplyDeleteDifferences are what shape the world we live in today. They exist everywhere, and commonly draw attention. I do not remember a specific moment when I learned what a difference was and how to treat it. Since differences are everywhere, I think most people develop their own way of coping with them in the heat of the moment. I think it is also equally as important for people to learn how to correctly cope with their own differences. I know that I am a short person, but I generally try to accept that I am short, and understand I can’t change it. If I difference truly affects your life in a major way, then sometimes the best option is to change that difference, if possible. Plastic surgery is a good example of how a seemingly permanent difference can be changed. A lot of people learn what a difference is through the media. Watching the same image of beauty appear so often can alter the image of beauty that each individual has. The typical idea of delicate features, skinny, and graceful comes to my mind when I think pretty. As we saw in the “Twilight Zone” however, if the media was constantly showing people with pig snouts and twisted features as beautiful, we would all eventually come to recognize that image as beautiful, even if it was only through repetition that we learned to accept the image.
ReplyDeleteIt is difficult to say when and how I learned about differences. It was not something I noticed happening, just something that happened. When I was little I didn’t notice differences at all. When we are very young all little kids run around with pieces of clothing missing and they don’t care. Then some where around first or second grade your best friend who was of opposite sex as you has suddenly developed cooties. I don’t know how this state of mind suddenly changes, just that it does. It most likely is an influence of the older kids around you. You see the fourth and fifth graders playing in separate groups of boys and girls. Even in advertisements there are toys for boys and toys for girls. I was a girl who did play Barby but also liked playing with GI Joe. That was weird for a girl to play with a “boy’s toy”. I didn’t care. I saw it as the other girls being weird.
ReplyDeleteI guess I learned that a difference was a difference through society. It is the majority who rules that anything other than themselves is a difference. I do my best to embrace difference. Some times it it easy because I like differences, they bring excitement to the world. I have been lucky to never had a reason to fear difference. Although sometimes it is difficult to get over some differences because they are so different to me and my ideas. These are usually more moral and idea based differences such as democrat vs republican. Without difference every one would be the same person. No one would be and individual.
You learn from society, from cultural experiences, from living life. You do not decide which differences really matter. You can for yourself, and exert your opinion on others, but it is still just an opinion. And if it varies from that of society, you stand a very small chance of holding your ground. It is not up to you to choose the differences, but to deal with them and adapt as best as possible. You learn of racism, sexism, ethnicity, judgment in general, of all kinds; anything that changes you from someone else can matter more than anything in this world, this society. It's how we live.
ReplyDeleteWe decide for ourselves if that difference truly matters and try to compensate accordingly to what society believes. We are trapped in the ideals of our culture and the fear and narrow-mindedness of humanity. We can try to learn from it and grow and evolve to accept this difference as a whole, but that is a long, tiresome battle that most are too selfish to tolerate.
No difference should be important, and yet they are. There's no changing that, but coping we can do. For society, many differences are important, in fact, all differences are. Big or small, broad-casted or hidden, they are still there and the judgment continues. It's part of human nature, part of our survival. None are more important than others, it's that we focus on some more and leave others to continue, it's which can we cope with and which cause the most issues. But every difference should be important, important to address, be resolved, and moved on from, not important to spread, discriminate, and cause divides. Man wants to survive, and so should be more attentive and accepting, before we become the cause of our extinction.
I think people learn what differences matter from things like the media. i think people pick apart different people's differences all the time, so much that it's become like second nature to them. they critisize people untill they have nothing left to say and then even after that they make things up just so they have some more stuff to say. but i think people learn from the media the most, and as they grow up they probably get it from veiwing others critisizing people like parents, older brothers and sisters and friends.
ReplyDeleteI started learning about difference when I was a little kid. I have two older brothers, and one of them worked with the Metco program and would have his Metco "buddy" over every afternoon. I didn't fully grasp the concept of what was going on, but I knew that the boy had different color skin than I did, and different mannerisms. I never really fully saw the difference between races until then. I was seeing someone "different" up close and talking to them, and since I was only four around the time I was only beginning to see the world around me. I asked my mother about it but she said he was just like any other boy. I have always been taught since then to embrace difference. I was raised not to judge others by appearance, that everyone came from a different place, everybody is unique. I have dealt with being different before, and i've gone through specific times that were very rough because of it. Because of this I try not to make quick judgements, while knowing that everyone has a gut reaction when they meet someone for the first time, there is always that initial judgement of what you can see. There is the phrase "don't judge a book by its cover," but I think in certain instances it is hard when you cannot get to know the person. I believe that difference is unique, it is special and should be easily accepted. Nobody is the same.
ReplyDeleteDifference in life always occurs, yet as a young child it is not really thought about. I first realized what difference was when i moved, and lost touch with all my friends from my old town. In my old town i just became use to how it worked, and who my friends were, so when i moved, it was different, new people, and new races. i came from an all white town, yet when i moved to lexington there were people of all ethnicities, so that was one change, also the way people act. i had to get use to the difference in school structure, for me it seemed easy, but i still wasn't used to the new teachers, or the other students, with whom i mostly got along with, but never really became friends. the only people i really related to were those who also had just moved, as none of us fit in with the rest, so we were essentially outcasts, different.
ReplyDeletei always knew that differences is always going to be a part of my life. because of all the history classes about slaves and concentration camps, differences came in all types of catagories. Age, Race, Religion, Gender, Sexual Orientation, etc. But the time i realised it most was when one of my middle school teachers was a lesbian. I was a little scared to approach her. As i got to know her, i realise that she was no different then the girl sitting next to me. It is a part of the American culture to have lesbians and gays. Growing up in the city, theres not much opportunity to see these differences.
ReplyDeleteI got my ideas of how difference matters from many places, and over a long period of time. I don't think that ideas like these are one that you get from one specific time, place or situation, rather i think that they come from many sources. For me growing up where i did i got two very different perspectives from adults and kids. It seemed to me that living in Lexington a lot of the adults tried to teach us from a young age that what matter wasn't what someone looked like but what they acted like. On the other hand i remember a specific time when a boy i knew got ridiculed by a group of older kids because of how he was dressed. This experience along with many others made me very conscious of the way i dressed and what i looked like. Although that experience made it seem like there was a lot of stress put on looks, there was very little stress put on skin color. Even though i cannot speak for others i know that personally skin color didn't matter to me, considering i grew up with multiple black friends.
ReplyDeleteI think most major differences are decided by the media and big named brands, People want to look like the people they see on the cameras and on tv. Also whatever may seem like the "norm" in the society or area they are in. In this school the style is all the girls have the black north face and the ugg look. I never thought that that could be as wide spread thing. I didn't think something like that would reach urban areas either but after the holidays i began to see even inner city girls wearing the style. That showed me that even something that once was a difference could change over time. I agree with Alex FJ that race should not matter in any decision making at all but still it does. And from first hand experience about the separate groups spread out in the caf, Being a black (metco) kid we come in every morning and go to the same corner in the cafe everyday. It's just something thats automatic to us everyday. Its feels like something like a sense of belonging. We know its a place we can always go and sit to talk to someone. It started as everyone being afraid to branch out and go elsewhere so we all just started in that one little corner bunch together. Now that most f us are older we walk around the cafe all the time and talk to everyone but at some point we will walk by or end up in the corner having a big conversation, Its funny because the METCO program is something to help inner city kids gain a better education in the suburbs/better schools. So once we get out here we are very different and have to take a little while to adapt. But by the time we adapt our here, we're out here so much that I feel like i have to re adapt to home most of the time. After being out here 12 years of my life, pretty much everything i do is out here. Sometimes you start to miss things at home.
ReplyDeleteSince I have been young there has always been need to clarify what makes people different. As much as people say that people who look different from you don't matter it always seemed like a double standard for me because other people made it seem like difference matters. The media portrays everyone to look a certain way especially when you see advertisements and the female models weigh 100 pounds are are tall and have blonde hair. The media has a lot to do with the stereotypes that are formed in our society today. There are obviously going to be differences amongst people that you meet in your life but I do not think that it should be made into a big deal and separate people by what they look like.
ReplyDelete